You Live, You Learn. But Mostly, You Just Live.

My science project. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it ain't gonna hurt this typewriter any worse. I think we do crazy things that help us learn in the long run. At least that's what I keep telling myself. In a worst case scenario, I can always throw it back together and pretend none of this happened.

Packing and Unpacking.

Taking a few days. In the process of moving, though I'm not 100% sure where I'm moving to at this point. Still, I have to be ready when word comes through. It's quite cramped here and I'm looking for a much bigger place with better lighting. For example, a window would be nice. I do have a few more packages arriving in the mail in the next week, but beyond that I don't expect to be making any new typewriter purchases in the foreseeable future. When I make my next post, I expect to start breaking down and reviewing my latest purchases....some very interesting machines in there. Think Royals....lots of Royals, and maybe a very heavy Olympia or two. Also, lots of better-lit photos and an ongoing tale of tragedy and (hopefully) triumph with a massive Smith-Corona Secretarial 88. Back soon. Be there. Aloha.

A Quiet Update

Update on the Underwood Noiseless Portable typewriter. I was able to clean it up nice. It still has a lot of its original finish and is in remarkable shape. A little oil and the keys work fine, and it types fine with no skipping. The only thing I've noticed is that the bell doesn't work. The serial number 692302 puts the date of its manufacture a few years back further than I'd expected. It was built at some point between Jan. 1, 1934 and Jan. 1, 1935, making it 78 years old. This was from a time when things had to be built to last and could be repaired, and not just thrown away. I doubt those of you who live long enough will ever see an eighty-year-old computer that still works.

Shhhhhhh.

I have to keep it quiet. This is a noiseless typewriter, after all. More correctly, the Underwood Noiseless Portable, a clone of the Remington Noiseless Portable. Both were made side-by-side in the Remington factory (I'm going to presume in Ilion, N.Y., since uninformed presumption is such a big part of this blog).

This one just arrived today. I wasn't expecting it until the 28th but it snuck up on me. It's that quiet. Like a ninja in ballerina shoes. I was in downtown Lufkin this morning at an antiques store looking at some old machines (didn't take the iPhone, so no pictures). One was a very similar Remington, for $175.. It didn't work as well as this one, either....and this one cost me nowhere near that.

Put a new ribbon on it (a maddening experience which I assume must get easier) and cleaned it up a bit, but it was operational out of the box. The shipping box, that is, since it didn't have a case. Still, we're talking about a genuine hunk-o-history here, a living, breathing (so to speak) piece of ancient alien technology. This model's history is fragmented and poorly documented at best. There don't seem to be reliable production numbers and the serials are weird, but it had to have been made between 1937 and 1942. Or thereabouts. There is some more info on the Noiseless Portable here. The more you know.

Time Machine.

Here's a beautiful typewriter. This is a circa 1961 Smith-Corona Clipper. Very clean, looks and works like it's brand new. I can't tell you how much I paid. I know it wasn't that much. Perhaps I've taken something to block the memory. I'm sure it wasn't that expensive, since I am a man of modest means.

Nicely detailed inside and out. If my insides were this clean I'd live forever, too.

One of the few times I've gotten a typewriter in the mail and didn't have to clean the white gunk off the keys. What IS that stuff, anyway? I suspect it's mold, or DNA residue from space aliens who used the typewriters in the past.

Case is clean but mildly dented. Has protected this typewriter for over fifty years. Cases can be notorious filth traps. This one's in good shape.

Underside. I wish my underside was this clean. Unlike typewriters, us humans have to shower at least once every ten days.

Back. Looks like a slight dent. It doesn't even show up this well when you look at it in person. The bad lighting seems to have brought it out.

This was owned by "Spector". Hopefully not Phil Spector. If there's an evil spirit that makes me point guns at rock stars and kill b-movie actresses, I am gonna be pissed. Or Arlen Spector, the ambitious Junior Counselor for the Warren Commission who invented the "single bullet theory" that proved Lee Harvey Oswald was the lone assassin that shot JFK. I bet the Spector who was the previous owner of this typewriter was a somewhat less interesting, less controversial individual.

Type sample. These machines were very popular and Smith-Corona ultimately sold millions of them. In fact, I have four. This one, a much older Clipper with a slight skipping problem, and two Towers (re-badged and sold at Sears & Roebuck stores). They're plentiful and cheap, though you'd be hard-pressed to find one this clean.

The Phantom Olympia SG2: A Slight Update

Regarding the typewriter (above) that I misidentified as the Olympia SG2: It wasn't. It appears instead to have been an SM2 (but don't hold me to that). The SG2, had it existed, would be an entirely different (and much larger) machine. But did it exist? A commenter to my previous post insisted that it didn't.

But I stress that I'm not a typewriter expert. So where do I turn for the final word? To a typewriter expert.

In early 2012, three members of the Yahoo Typewriters Group (all longtime collectors) confirmed the existence of the machine here. Two said they own the SG2, but they are quite rare and there is no company literature documenting they were made. In the end, neither supplied a photo. I'd love to see one.

From the discussion:

"It was not made in large numbers. It was a simpler model."
"Yes. I have one- it's basically like the SG3, but without tabs. It types very nicely."
"The Olympia SG 2 was a simplified Machine that looks very similar like the early SG 3-N. It is a little bit smaller (only very little difference!), and has smaller platen turn knobs. Best visual difference is the missing of the large tab keys above the keyboard. It has a tab, but only with a small key at the right of the top key row, and a set-clear-lever at the left of the keyboard. This model was made in very limited numbers and does not show up anywhere in literature. It is extremely hard to find, I have one in my collection, butI only have seen one other example in 35 years of typewriter business and collecting."

In conclusion, I freely admit to being wrong about the typewriter due to an error on my part, but in the end I was vindicated by pure stupid luck. Wild, huh?

If Maria Callas also had a drink, this would be the greatest photo ever.