What's it Worth? Who the Hell Knows?

Thank you for your service, Sgt. Olivetti.

I can only guess how people determine the value of the typewriters they're trying to sell. A few weeks ago I saw an old Olivetti on eBay that apparently served in Vietnam. It was started at a $99 opening bid so I put it on my watch list. I wasn't prepared to spend $99, even for a Valentine (which seemed to have been recklessly spray-painted an olive-drab green), and I watched as the clock expired and it was re-listed. This time it was reduced to a $75 opening bid, but yet again the auction ended and there were no takers. I almost jumped at it at that price, and perhaps I should have. I got a notice two days ago that it had been re-listed yet again, and the seller must have suddenly realized  that it was a valuable piece of history and it was slapped with a Buy-it-Now price of $300. I theorized that somehow it would sell instantly, but I just checked and it's still there. No idea of what formula is used to determine the value of a typewriter. I can tell you that this is the cheapest Valentine being offered at present on eBay. Others are $399, $535, $549, $699, and $760. It's a beautiful machine and there is a demand, but come on. The fact that these are still available and not being snapped up right away proves that they're way overvalued.

Even if it worked, a wee bit high.

Elsewhere, in Lufkin, I visited an antiques store yesterday and noticed two typewriters, only one of which I got a photo of. The huge Royal pictured is pretty, but the $100 price put me off. I messed with it a little, but some of the keys seemed stuck, so I left it alone. It was not something I'd seriously consider purchasing since the last thing I need is another big heavy broken typewriter. Are there price guides for typewriters, as there are for baseball cards, comic books, and Disney memorabilia? There should be. The lady at the counter engaged me briefly about typewriters and she told me that a guy comes in and looks for them because he cuts the keys off and makes jewelry. Friggin' choppers. Take a decent machine and cut the keys off, then throw the rest of it away. No better than ivory poachers if you ask me.

There was a second machine upstairs. I didn't get a picture. It was a Smith Corona-made Tower, very similar to the one I saw at the other antiques store a few weeks ago. It seemed to be filled with pencil shavings but otherwise worked as far as I could tell. Again, I didn't give it a detailed examination because the price tag threw me. I didn't have my reading glasses and needed them, but it looked like it said $6.00. But again, that could be $60. Now, $6 is way too cheap. If I get that typewriter downstairs and try to pay for it and they tell me the price is wrong I'm gonna be pissed. And it's a consignment place, so who's to say that the lady at the counter even knows what it's supposed to cost? She might let me have it for $6, and the owner is screwed. But if the intended price for that Tower is $60, forget it. That's a waste of cash as far as I'm concerned. I already have one Tower exactly like it, one Tower similar to it, and several S-C variants of the same machine, and none of them cost $60. In fact, I got one of them for a dollar. So that's that.

Again, I don't know what typewriters are worth. I have a price ceiling, and that keeps certain machines out of my reach forever. If I can get something I like that falls within my range, I'll do it. But otherwise, no thanks. Again, we need a Bob Overstreet to tell us what we're doing here. Every old broken typewriter can not be worth $65-$100. That's just insanity.